Express Action Sports

We were young, i’m 35 she’s 37 & have 2 kids, a 13 yr old daughter & 6 yr old son. I work 2 jobs & coach my 2 kid’s sports teams. I’m always taking them somewhere when I’m not at work, my weeknights & weekends are very busy. The daughter is in advanced classes and on a travel sports team. Unfortunately, my wife isn’t giving us much help. She’s always had problems keeping a job. I can’t even count how many jobs she’s had, I’d say up to 50. She’s always worked, just never made more than 13K a yr. I don’t make a whole lot myself even with the 2 jobs so we’re always just getting by. Up until our son was born, my wife & daughter always had a good relationship. After he was born, it deteriorated. I call it a perfect storm, a mixture of things, that led to this. Wife had always had personality, relationship problems with people before. She’s anti-social. The only people to accept her have been me & her family. I’m aware of post partum, although she has never shown it towards my son. cont…
BUT something has happened to her. She is NOT the same person, her problems have become magnified. She lays around and does no housework and we have to tell her to cook. She’ll say you do it. When she does get a job, she can’t do direct deposit cause she can’t manage a bank acct. It would be negative with overdraft fees even after her check goes in. I ultimately had to take her off our bank acct cause she drained it a few times. When she did have a job that she’d kept for over 6 months, we took her off my insurance & on to hers. She lost that job & now has no ins. I can’t put her back on mine cause it would cost too much. We’re talking from $150/month to $700 just to add her. She’s said how she should & could leave & doesn’t need me (but we need her), but when she complained to me that I don’t let her take care of any of the bills, I gave her the responsibility of paying the phone bill. I gave her instructions, let her go with it. Two months later, our phone was shutoff. cont…
She still blamed me somehow for it. She doesn’t have any friends so the only person she goes to tell is her parents. They’re enablers cause they completely back her up. Her whole family is like that cause the parents are older (elderly) so they don’t want to upset them. I’m the bad guy to them so I can’t even talk to them about this. The worst part is that my daughter is now a teen & she sees what her mother is. I’ve had to get in between them their fights are so bad. I try to support my wife’s side but she says the most inappropriate things. Like “without your mother, you’ll be in the gutter & wind up pregnant”. It’s completely irrational cause my daughter is nothing like that so I wind up protecting & defending my daughter against her. One time I had to call the police because my wife threw an ottoman at her. I don’t want to do that again cause they interviewed me, the kids & investigated the house. But I have to do something. Between me & my daughter, our relationship is strong cont
But it kills me to hear her say she would rather not have a mother. I try to reason with my wife but it blows up into another blame game. She’s “between jobs” again so we have that added stress & the daughter’s sport team season is heating up. I asked her if she wants to quit, but she says no way, it’s the only way she keeps her confidence. We’ve gone to counseling but the counselor seemed afraid to tackle our problem. She saw us about 5 times & then kept putting us off saying that she wasn’t available & that she was having some problems with our insurance. That’s when my wife had insurance, now I’m trying to get just me & my daughter in to one but none are available until late May. I believe my wife has mental issues, her thought process is so irrational & she’s either oblivious all the time or looking for a fight all the time. But she refuses to accept any responsibility. She’s even said “oh so you can take my kids from me?” Not having medical coverage gives her a good excuse cont…
which may also mean why she doesn’t want to go back or keep a job at least. I would love for her to be able to get a career and be the mother my kids deserve, but I’m running on empty. I can’t just force her out can I? She’ll just get custody here in FLA (being a woman-friendly state). She’s never been diagnosed with anything because she’s never seen anybody for it. She doesn’t do drugs. Am I stuck with the old saying “its cheaper to keep’er”? If I thought I had a chance at all I would but I’ve heard some real horror stories & I’m not willing to go through any worse case scenarios at the expense of my kids’ lives. How do I pull my family through these major problems with minimal resources? I’ve prayed about this, seen priests, counselors. I either need a counselor that will see her and help or a lawyer that is dad strong and won’t ask for a lot. Thanks and sorry so long.

You need to consult with a lawyer in your area as soon as possible. Your wife has problems and needs some serious help. You and your kids don’t need her, she needs you. I don’t care what anyone says, I have a teen daughter and I would never say things like that to her. Your daughter is at the age that she needs guidance and not someone to criticize her. You have to do what is right for your children and it does not sound like she is to stable with them. If you called the law when she was throwing things at your daughter then get a copy of that report to help you in court. You can also get both children into a counselor so they can have someone to talk to and be sure to let the counselor know what is going on in your household so they can address those issues. You will be getting your children help and you may even get some evidence for court through the counselor. They will not be able to say what the children say but they can sure recommend where your children need to live. I wish you luck! Neither your children or you deserve this kind of treatment from her.

I’m thinking about either emergency medicine, sports medicine, or hematology, but I’m really open for anything. What are some possible fields of health that are looking like they have a bright future? I would consider any medical job that requires action, a sense of making a difference, but also a job that would be secure for years to come. Thanks.

I will plug my own, forensic pathology. Good hours, pretty good pay, no insurance company hassles, some real answers, research and teaching possibilities, constant learning, incredible job security.