Express Action Sports

Everyone seems to have goals or things they enjoy. Things they work for and things that make hard work seem worth it. My life has been one trauma after another and I fell into a deep depression where I’ve been for years. My apathy seems to know no bounds. When I ask advice on how to live, what to do, what my career should be, what my motivation should be etc, I get the same advice. Find what your interested in and do it. I should work to make myself happy and do things I enjoy. I’ve been trying but nothing has broken the barrier. I couldn’t find anything I liked to study in college and I decided to just try and pick something so I could get a degree. After 3 years of college, I just didn’t care about what I was studying even though I tried classes in nearly every department my school offered. I even transfered and nothing changed. I left school on a medical leave hoping the time to myself would help me discover what I really wanted. Nope.
I’ve tried picking up hobbies, all of which give out less pleasure in the ratio of work/pleasure. I have no reason to leave my house anymore. I could go get a partime job working at McDonalds or something but I luckily don’t need the money and I can’t exactly see how that would be pleasurable experience. I’ve thought about traveling but I don’t really care about about seeing sites. Some people have suggested to find a girlfriend or even just get laid. I’m asexual and that really doesn’t appeal to me. I medically am not allowed to drink alcohol, so night life is mediocre at best. Besides, I’m not trying to get laid and I hate loud music. This also gets me thinking long term. I’m pretty sure due to my asexuality that I’m not getting married and if I had a kid, I would have to adopt because I’m physically sterile as well as having to raise the child as a single father. That’s just depressing to think about.
Action Sports intrest me a bit, and I have been trying to learn to surf for a year now but I’m still not that good. I also don’t live that close to a beach that I can do it daily. I do like to ski and I am good since I’ve been doing it since I was 6, but the closest mountain is 5 hours away and it can get expensive. Plus, I have no one to go with. I wanted to get into skydiving, and went twice already, but its too expensive. Other than that, I have nothing. I sleep, eat, and work out 6 days a week and spend the rest of my time on the internet, watching tv, or something else that can distract me until bed.
Yes, I am on the sidelines. I took myself out of the game when I left college. No point in participating in a game that you don’t enjoy. A victory in a game is meaningless if you don’t even want it. I’m trying to find reasons to enjoy it or find another game that I will enjoy.

One cannot win the race unless he’s a participant. Sounds like you’re on the sidelines.

I am a person suffering from a bit of obsessive compulsive disorder(ocd) and mostly religious part that is fear of committing unpardonable sin, eternal death or eternal suffering in hell from the age of 6.Also I was very shy and felt uneasy in social situations perhaps was suffering from social anxiety disorder.I felt intense fear, anxiety in my childhood about my ocd fear of sin for obsessive, compulsive thoughts about Gods, families etc.With the time it subsided.But social anxiety was still there.At present I am 22.Two years back I felt an unusual kind of problem in my mind where I got extremely worried about the problem of committing unpardonable sin in future sort of things. It seemed to me that something had got hold of my mind and completely controlled it. I couldn’t feel relaxed, always anxious etc.Thoughts continue to run in my mind despite of my efforts to neglect them. I felt that I couldn’t feel emotions and I felt anxiety all the time.The more I resisted it, the more it persisted.When I sort out a problem and feel less anxious another problem related to previous one used to pop up in front of me.Like “what if this happened in future”. After some time I decided to search on net about my condition.After intensive searching and reading I got some impression that I might be suffering from anxiety disorder. I used to feel anxiety many times before this and also depression but since the age of 20, for two years it is affecting me very much, I never felt like this before. I am not able to study, concentrate on anything and do a job or business.My memory is almost gone. But On surfing net, I found that there are some physical symptoms as well of anxiety. Like breathlessness, heart palpitations etc.But I have only mental issues. Then I think It might not be an anxiety problem because there are not any physical symptoms. I have searched on net about mindfulness, congnitive behavioral therapy(CBT), acceptance and letting go.But my anxiety is worsening.It is worsening because for the two years I am unemployed and have been unable to study because of this.and also age is slipping from my hand .I have already wasted two years. Being a socially anxious person, I think what people would think about me. An unemployed person. I am unable to manage my time.I put pressure and stress on myself for finishing every task early so that I can manage time effectively. But I am in catch-22 situation. Having not been able to study in this mental condition is worsening my anxiety. And that is causing more problem and I feel utter lack of concentration and relaxation and cann’t study.I am not able to experience my surroundings. It seems I am not aware of my environment.I find myself thinking all the time solution for this anxiety and all time I am in head and this is making problem worse. My financial condition is poor.What can I do at this time to relax myself and pursue my study and get a job which is possible if this anxiety comes to a manageable level.Also I live with my old age dad.We are two members in family.He is putting pressure on me for marriage because he wants to see me happy and not alone after him. But I think Why anybody else suffer because of my mental condition.At the same time I think that With whom I will live after my dad.There are many such questions in front of me at this time?I desperately want to feel in control of my feelings and emotions and want to relax but this desperation is bringing more uncomfort.There is social stigma attached if people come to know of my condition.Being a socially anxious person that is very hard to handle.Moreover a career, job can bring me some sort of security but who will give me a job without proper education and If anybody gives me a job , I will not be able to stay there for more than a week because my mental condition,lack of concentration and awareness,memory will land me in problem there.What to do? Please help me.

Here are 12 tips for overcoming anxiety, or at least alleviating it:
1. Lack of control over your thoughts, strengthens your anxiety. As negative thoughts get stronger, your anxiety gets stronger too. You need to learn to control your thoughts.
2. Feelings and emotions fuel and strengthen anxiety. You need to develop some self discipline, and learn to have control over your feelings. You also need to develop some degree of emotional detachment.
3.When you go to bed at night, and first thing when you wake up in the morning, think about the good things that are happening to you. There are always some good things happening, even if small and insignificant.
4. Start the day with several minutes of positive affirmations. Tell yourself how would like your day to be. Use positive, cheering and motivating words.
5. Be busy and do something, since activity keeps your mind off your anxiety. When you wake up in the morning, start doing something right away, and keep busy all day. Cleaning the house, washing the dishes or working in your garden, reading, studying, meditating, or exercising your body can help you keep your mind away from anxiety. Staying idle, and thinking about your problems and worries won’t make them go away.
6. Set a goal and work everyday to achieve it. This action will direct your thoughts and feelings away from worries and anxieties, toward something more positive and constructive.
7. Talk about your anxieties to someone you trust. Talking about your anxieties and feelings can alleviate them, and put them in the right proportions, provided you talk objectively, and with a real desire to get rid of your anxiety, or at least reduce its intensity.
8. Exercising your body and staying fit, is a good way to keep fears and anxieties away. You can walk, swim, do yoga, aerobics, or any other sport.
9. Find reasons to laugh. This will bring light and happiness into your life, and drive anxiety away. Watch comedies on TV, be with happy and amusing friends, or read something that makes you laugh.
10. Use positive words in your conversation and in your inner talk.
11. Affirm and visualize positive situations and events. Visualize a happy and positive solution to your problems.
12. If watching the news fills you with anxiety – turn off the TV! Limit the time you watch the news, and don’t watch anything that might upset you, before you go to bed.

Good luck and God bless you

I have what the doctors call a "personality disorder". I can go from being calm and collective one minute to being full of anger and rage the next. And it doesn’t seem like it takes much to set me off. I don’t like a tough guy image. I don’t like for people to be afraid of me. It makes me feel like mabe I am crazy cause everyone seems to be afraid of what I might do. All I want to do is live a normal life and be successful at my goals. I am a talented musician and a pretty good athlete. Playing sports does seem to help me release some anger. But only for a short time. If I’m in a position where I have time to think. I can have one of those angry outbursts. I try to think positive. But it seems like sense I grew up in a violent and perverted environment its like my mind has been trained to think this certain way and I can’t seem to change the way my mind thinks. I want to change! But it is definately not easy. I wish it was! This is the type of thing abuse can cause in someone.

Wow, it sounds like you have been through quite a lot in your life, and are re-living it in your daily actions. Unresolved hurt does manifest itelf through anger or depression (which is anger turned inward), or self-inflicted pain, even pain to others we care about.

So, have you seen a therapist? If so, how long did you go? Did you really do your homework as far as what the Therapist may have recommended you do (writings, prayer, positive affirmations, confronting your abusers, etc.)? Not every therapist will work for you. It is like a relationship, you may have to go through several before you find the right "fit".

I too lived a childhood that was so horrific, you would think it was untrue. The things my parents did were unimaginable. They died when I turned 16. However, my brothers and I were left to drag the baggage of all they had done to us.

The good news is that you have a choice. You can chose to live as a victim to all that has happened in your past, or, instead, you can get some therapy, work on your issues, and rise above that. Listen, those who hurt you may have had the power at the time, however, why keep giving them the power? If you remain angry, bitter and hurtful to yourself and others, you just allow those people that hurt you to keep hurting you, yet, you carry the weapon in your hands this time. I vowed I’d not give them the satisfaction.

It is like an alcoholic who gets mad at someone and goes to a bar to drink it off, they go to "drink at them". They get stinking drunk because they are so angry, but ultimately, who are they hurting? They only hurt themself.

Evidently you want help. I hope you will be proactive and really seek some counseling. There are many well trained Therapists out there that can work with you. Don’t be afraid to "interview" them first either. Ask them how many people they have counseled that have experienced similar issues. Ask them thier success rate? Ask them if they themselves have experienced any of those same issues and how they overcame them?

Let go of being a "tough guy". In the end, you only succeed in keeping away those people who could ultimately love and accept you regardless of your past.

Love yourself first MOST OF ALL!

Good luck. Trust me, it can be done. I lived it. I live it still everyday, but made the choice years ago to slay my dragons. You can too!